Goodbye (Like a Bad Memory)
by TangledCollisions
Summary: "As expected, no one had come to see him off. It was better this way. He scoffed at the thought 'Better? For who' He was terrible at goodbyes. He hated them. This just made it easier for him to leave." Inspired by Abandoning Sunday's "Patience" possible two part story though I can promise you, it's not a very happy ending.
1. Goodbye

I own nothing at all, barely even the plot.

Nat belongs to the wonderful c2ndy2c1d and the characters of Ed, Edd n Eddy belong to brilliant mind of Danny Antonucci.

This was originally longer but I divided it into two parts because I'm not sure if I want to upload the second half. With some hunting though, the entire thing can be found on tumblr but let's not go there.

The song "_Patience_" does not belong to me but to the talented group **Abandoning Sunday**

The italicized parts are song lyrics that helped to inspire this.

* * *

He stood at the end of his driveway with his hands in his pockets, looking up at the house he grew up. The house he practically raised himself in, the other kids in the cul-de-sac seemed to have done the same. This was all he had ever known.

'We didn't turn out so bad, I guess. No one is in jail or worse. That's an upside?' he shrugged his shoulders slightly as he continued looking up at the house.

As for his parents…. well they were technically still living here although he barely saw them anymore. He hardly ever saw any adults. He frowned up at the house attempting to recall the amounts of times he had seen any in the cul-de-sac.

'There was that one time,... no. But then... that doesn't count."

Giving up, he slowly turned his body to take a quick glance at his neighborhood, listing the names of his friends as he looked over each house and the memories that he had of them. This was his group, his own different form of a family. Family. They were his family and he was leaving them behind. This was it, the moment of truth… he was leaving the cul-de-sac. Not forever but still. He couldn't decide if he felt more nervous than excited or the other way around. Something else was nagging at him but he didn't want to acknowledge it much, or at all.

With a sigh he looked at the neighborhood once more. As expected, no one had come to see him off. It was better this way. The red head scoffed at the thought, 'Better? For who?' He was terrible at goodbyes. He hated them. This just made it easier for him to leave.

Plus, he wasn't completely alone. His two best friends were there with him and that was more than enough for him. Right? Anything Kevin went through, they went through. The Three Caballeros, that's who they were. The three best friends anyone could ever ask for. With them by his side, he could do anything, overcome anything, and accomplish everything. That should have been enough for him, but it wasn't.

There was that nagging feeling again. A bit of empty space that pulled at his heartstrings. That feeling that something or someone was missing. He scolded himself mentally for expecting; hoping really, that the one person he'd miss the most would show up. 'It's better this way.' He thought to himself and for a brief second he almost believed it. Almost. But there was that feeling, that little voice in the back of his head.

The little voice saying:

'You need _him_. You can't do this without _him._"

He shook his head. This was for the best. He didn't need him.

'_You do though,'_

Shaking his head once more he brought his hands up to his head, applying slight pressure to it to ease the ache he had began to develop from arguing with the voice.

**'****_And I don't need you right now_****. **I don't. It had to be done. I can't make him wait for me. I can't hold him back.'

'_He's leaving tomorrow. You won't be there for him either. You know you need him around. He'll worry about you.'_

He sighed remembering the conversation,

"**_What's a few more years? And I'll do fine on my own somehow. Don't worry about me_**_._ I won't really be there alone. It'll be okay._" _isn't that how he tried to make it better that night? "_And I can't find the words I need to tell you how I feel. _I just... I can't." he muttered the end of the sentence under his breath as he raised his hand to scratch at the back of his neck. The words were there, he just couldn't get them out so instead he just stopped talking and stood there with his head down, becoming interested in his shoes all of a sudden. He had wanted to say he loved him but after all this time he still couldn't say those three little words. Reflecting back on it, he realized how bad that sounded, he had meant to be optimistic and failed horribly. He raised his head from his shoes to glance at the person standing in front of him. Bad idea. For a brief second, a crushed look appeared on the other's face. Kevin saw the unshed tears, and in that brief second he could have sworn he had heard their heart break. It was enough to make him feel even more like a total ass. He had wanted so badly to rush over and make it better but he couldn't, it had to be this way.

_Convincing my heart that it's not my fault and praying that none of this is real. Cause I'd like to wake up and be gone, like a real bad memory, like a nightmare in a dream._

He wanted nothing more than this to be a nightmare and to wake up. This wasn't his reality. How could he be leaving the person he needed the most?

Just as quickly as it had flashed through their face, the other had regained their composure, crossing their arms over their chest and giving a short nod to indicate what would be the end of their conversation. Before leaving he had considered a kiss on the forehead but decided against it as the other had turned their back to him without so much as another word other than "Goodbye".

God, how he _hated_ that word.

With that said, he went home, a place now foreign to him as he had been accustomed to sleeping in a bed other than his and when he did come home, he wasn't alone. He got ready for bed once he managed to trudge inside and up the stairs to his room. He turned on the TV, not paying much attention to it and hoping it'd be more of a distraction. It wasn't. He turned it off and rolled over on his bed to lay on his side. His arm draped over to the empty side next to him out of habit, reaching for someone who should have been there but wasn't. He slid his arm back to tuck it in close to him, closing his eyes and reprimanding himself for his actions. _I'd love to open up my eyes and see you right there next to me being all I'll ever need._ Needless to say, he didn't sleep well that night.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sudden slam of a car trunk. The last of the boxes, which housed his personal belongings, had finally been placed into the car. Finally.

A hand was placed on his shoulder, squeezing it gently. He turned around to face his best friends, Nat and Nazz. "You ready to go, man?"

He gave a quick nod, shrugging off his thoughts and taking in a deep breath before speaking "Yeah, let's get going." _And I can't keep this up for long, and I won't even try. _But for now, he had to try. Just for a little bit longer. It was going to get harder, not just for him. _To think that it only gets harder now, but you won't ever see me cry._

He took off his hat, shaking his head as he cleared his mind and stood straight, running a hand through his hair quickly after placing his hat back onto his head, blinking away any rebel tears that had began to form in his eyes. No. No tears allowed.

The trio walked toward the car. Nat and Nazz didn't comment on the situation but he knew once they thought enough time had passed one of them would bring it in. Double trouble. That's what they were and they were going to call him out on his stupid actions. Nat headed to the driver's side while Nazz made her way to the passenger side along with Kevin. Before climbing into the back seat he turned to look at the house across from his, shooting a quick glance up at the window on the second floor hoping to catch a glimpse of a certain someone. Nothing. He took a deep breath and climbed into the seat and buckled his seat belt. Leaning his head back against the seat, he closed his eyes and exhaled the breath he had been holding. This was it.

"Goodbye, Peach Creek" Nat said as he pulled out of the driveway and they made their way out of the cul-de-sac. He lifted his head from the seat and looked back, watching the house shrink as they drove away from the house. Before they exited the cul-de-sac he decided 'It was now or never, it was too late to say it in person', he frowned and muttered what he couldn't say out loud. "I love you, Double Dork", turning his body back to face forward, not catching sight of someone who had ran outside at the last minute and was now left standing in the middle of the cul-de-sac staring after the car.


	2. Chapter 2

I own nothing, nothing at all. Nat is c2ndy2c1d's and all the characters are from the brilliant mind of Danny Antonucci. The song _**Patience**_ is by Abandoning Sunday.

"It'll be okay" The words were a stab to his heart and in his mind he raged.

_ "And don't you tell me it's all okay and I can't hear a single word you say"_

He stopped listening once he heard those words leave Kevin's mouth. It bothered him that he had thought to say such a thing, the audacity of it. He felt offended by the statement and all he could manage to say was goodbye and he did just that. Any more and he would have cried in front of him, but he had wouldn't let himself do that. He wasn't going to let Kevin see that. Just because he had a smaller frame than him and a more frail appearance, didn't make him weak or frail. He was strong enough to handle this situation in his own way. Edd hadn't planned on going to see him before he left. Edd's mind was set, he was going to act as if it didn't hurt him but he couldn't. Not when he was alone. Around others he could fake a smile and act indifferent to the situation but when he was alone, that was another story. The hours Edd would normally spend with Kevin dragged on longer than usual… and the nights… well, the nights he found he had difficulty sleeping. No matter how tired he was he couldn't seem to get comfortable nor could he bring himself to sleep on the now empty side that was once Kevin's.

He would scold himself for missing him, stating it wasn't rational or convenient that he allow his emotions to influence his actions. That any tears were unnecessary. All of it was just a waste of time that he could have used in a more productive manner.

He had intended to just let him leave without an attempt at reconciliation or even the possibility of a friendship. He couldn't work up the courage to go to the house, stand in the driveway and confront Nazz, after all hadn't she encouraged and supported them the most? Apart from that, he couldn't just stand there and wait as Kevin and Nat loaded the things into the car. As for Nat, he and Nazz had both been very encouraging and supportive when others were hesitant. They had declared themselves the couple's personal cheerleaders.

Lastly, he couldn't face Kevin. He had too many reasons as to why he didn't go or why he thought he shouldn't go, and each one he was able to shoot down as a stupid reason. How could he confront the three of them? He had been distant with the two when they demonstrated their concerns and was acting as if the last of the trio was nonexistent. Instead he resorted to sneaking behind the curtains of his window to watch him leave, careful to not let himself be seen.

_ "And I'll be the one that you won't forget and I'll make sure you remember it."_

He wanted to tell him not to forget him, but he felt that'd make him appear weaker than he already did. 'So you hide instead, like a coward instead of confronting your problems. You can't run forever. He'll forget you if he believes there's no chance.' He couldn't go, he wouldn't. How he hoped Kevin wouldn't forget about him.

'Don't you love him?' the sound of a car engine starting brought him back from his thoughts and he glanced out his window.

It wasn't until the car was backing out of the driveway that he realized where he needed to be. He ran downstairs as fast and as carefully as he could. That's the last thing he needed, an injury obtained as he attempted to run after Kevin. He opened the door and ran out into the middle of the street, stopping as he watched Kevin turn around in his seat facing forward. He glanced around the neighborhood to see if there was anyone around. No one. His shoulders slumped forward as he rested his hands on his knees in an attempt to catch his breath. This had to be a nightmare. Kevin was gone, the person he needed most, gone. And because of his stubbornness he hadn't been able to say a proper goodbye. He lifted his head, watching as the car made a turn. He straightened up and urged his legs to keep pace, convinced that he could reach the car. He had to reach it. He had to reach _him_. Soon as he made the turn he stopped and looked for the car but it was nowhere in sight. He was gone. Breathing heavily he stood at the corner hoping and praying for a car that wouldn't come back anytime soon. He was gone, just like a bad memory.

_"Cause I'd like to wake up and be gone like a real bad memory, like a nightmare in a dream, and I'd love to open up my eyes and see you right there next to me, being all I'll ever need. _

_I don't need you right now,_

_what's a few more years?"_


End file.
